Sunday, January 25, 2015

Week Three: 1/19-1/25

This week started off with the MLK Holiday and a few days off school for the boys. Monday was MLK, the boys went to the Y for the day and I also had the day off. I am still recovering from Saturday's run so taking it easy. I did go for a swim, only 1000 yards, but I didn't drown. My legs are still tired and I'm pretty depleted but it was good to get moving. Monday night, Cole built his own T-Rex from the inside-out. He named him "File". 

File's inside
Cole and File

Tuesday was also a Y day for the boys. And I made the heart breaking decision to withdraw from Uwharrie. I was hoping to give my spot away but I couldn't do that so I had to just pull out. =( I also ended up losing money on my hotel room because "why would I need to reserve a refundable room. I'm doing this race." And now I'm not. It's definitely the right decision, just not a fun one. But it's probably more fun than being miserable for 20 miles on a trail in the middle of no where. Maybe common sense prevailed instead of my stubbornness. Tuesday night we were also witness to Cole counting to ten in Korean. Super cool - we had no idea he could!! 

Thursday, as I wrote in the previous post, was when my Grandma S passed away. That was not the ideal start to my day. Sudden but not entirely unexpected. Grandma was 86, she had lived a great life. Cole is taking his Yellow Belt test for karate next week and had to write an essay on respect. 

Cole's essay on respect. 

Friday was an exciting day for Eli. He was in his School's spelling bee! The spelling bee was in the High School Auditorium. I was quite impressed with all of the kids on the stage. 
Can't spell game without me.....how appropriate for a spelling bee!!



Eli's first word was "power"
His second word was "full fledged" but he spelled it "fun fledge". Great job buddy!!! All of the kids did great spelling in front of a crowd. 
Grandpa's goodbye. I wrote a separate post on Grandma's funeral but there will always be special memories for me of these last few moments. 

Saturday night, we went back to Mom's and had an early bedtime. It was so needed. We were all exhausted. Sunday we went to Jeff and Erin's and the boys got to play with the Ks. It was a fun few hours and then we headed home. 

A very busy and emotional week. This grown up stuff is hard!!
 Dinner on the go
without the mess. 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Saying Goodbye to my Grandma


Today was a tough day. Today we said goodbye to my Grandma Starnes. I was very lucky to have known all of my Great Grandparents and I remember when they passed. But this is different. My Great Grandparents were always "old" to me growing up so my memories of them are of just that. I remember great times at their houses and hearing stories from them (which I now wish I had paid a LOT more attention to). Losing Grandma Starnes is the closest loss I've ever had. I was the first grandchild for her and my Grandpa so my relationship with them is probably a lot different than my brothers and/or cousins. Also, my brother Jeff and I (and Mom) lived with them for a period of time when I was really little so there are memories and times together that none of my cousins had. 

But let me go back.....earlier this week, my Grandma had to go to the hospital. She was admitted and stayed for pneumonia. They were treating her and she was supposed to be released to go home on Thursday. Thursday morning at 5:30am, my phone rang. I immediately knew. Mom called and told me that Grandma had passed away in her sleep about 4am. It's amazing how God works....you can go from the doctors telling you that you're going home to God saying "Nope child, you're coming HOME". Grandma had battled Alzheimers for years. She was no longer the vibrant Grandma who loved to play Bingo and go shopping. She talked less and required full time care. You see...we lost my Grandma's mind years ago. We lost her body on Thursday. I saw her at Christmas and she looked SO good. She looked happy and just looked good. I ALWAYS make it a point to get pictures of us when we visit relatives because you just never know. I had no idea whatsoever that when I saw her for Christmas, that would be the last time. So Thursday, I was sad. Tears and emotion would creep up on me and surprise me. I found myself shutting my door at work for periods of time so I could get through those moments. We didn't tell the boys that morning. They were headed off to school and had things going on so we waited. To be honest, I can't remember if we told them Thursday or Friday but we told them that their Great Grandma had gone to Heaven. Tim & I also talked about the funeral. I knew that I wanted them there. It would be their first funeral. 

Friday night, I had to go shopping. I HATE shopping, Grandma LOVED shopping. I needed new pants for the visitation and funeral. I went to Belk after work - her favorite store - and I'm telling you, she was my angel shopping with me that night. I never find anything and usually leave the fitting room upset and/or in tears. But Friday, I didn't. I found lots of clothes, not just for the funeral but in general and ended up spending over $200 on myself. That never happens. The thought of her as my shopping angel made me smile. 

Saturday morning, we packed up the boys and headed to my Grandpa's house. We were meeting there to go to the Funeral Home for the visitation and Service, then there would be a Graveside service as well. I did not want to be disrespectful so I didn't take too many pictures but I did want to capture our goodbyes. I've searched and searched and there are a few others I KNOW I took because of what they represented but I cannot find them. Maybe that's a good thing....maybe those memories are supposed to stay in my heart and the visual not be shared. Our family had time before the visitation started to see Grandma and her casket. She looked so beautiful. Her casket was a pale pink - pink was her favorite color - and she wore a blue suit with a scarf and angel pin. There were so many beautiful flowers. I know she would have loved all the pink. 

During the visitation, we had many friends and family stop by. I've never been part of the "family" that is receiving condolences. It was good to see everyone and listen to their thoughts / memories and whatever was on their heart. One funny thing that happened was how many of our extended family talked to me about getting our Christmas cards every year and how much they enjoy them. It was so nice to hear that even though I moved away they still love hearing our family news. The funeral was the first time many of them had seen the boys. 

After visitation, it was time for us to say our goodbyes and for them to close the casket prior to the service. I had printed photos from Christmas of me with Grandma and the boys with her to put in her casket. I wrote a note on the back of mine and had the boys write their names on the back of theirs. I placed them in her casket as I said goodbye. It was tough. Then I was privileged to witness my Grandpa saying his goodbye. My whole life, theirs has been the best love story ever. After everyone left, he gave her a kiss, told her that he loves her and will see her later. It was such a special moment. They were married well over 60 years and he loved her so much. 

Before visitation Grandpa got to see her. Here he is with Grandma's sister, my Great Aunt Katherine. 
 Picture from Christmas, just a month ago, that I put in her casket. 
 The boys with their Great Grandma at Christmas. 
 After visitation, Grandpa's final goodbyes. 
Flowers from me and my brothers and our families. 
So many pretty arrangements. 

There was a table of pictures and these were a few I saw of me. 

The service itself was really nice. I think Grandma would have liked it. Tim and my brothers Jeff and Billy served as pall bearers so during the service, it was up to me and my sister-in-law Niki to keep five boys quiet. Miraculously, we did. All of the little kids were so well behaved and they just seemed to know it was the time for that. Eli and Cole, being bigger, knew more of what was going on. My Dad was part of the service and it was neat to hear about my Grandparents meeting. I knew they met at work but I found out that Grandpa saw her the day she came in for an interview. Luckily, Grandma got the job and Grandpa got the girl. =) 

After the service, it was time to go to the cemetery. First time I've ever been part of a funeral procession. I told Tim that I was ok to drive but I kinda regretted that decision. I was so touched by the respect of everyone we went by that it got me choked up. The funeral home had arranged for a policeman to block off one intersection as we came through. The police officer had his hat off and on his heart as a sign of respect. Cue tears right there. Then every single car stopped and/or pulled off the road as we made our way. It was an emotional thing to be part of. 

At the cemetery, a few more words were spoken and then we had flowers to put on her casket. When we first got there, my brother Jeff commented to me that it felt real then. And it did. Her casket was in place and on the contraption that they use to lower it into the ground. It was tough for me when I put my carnation on the casket to say my final goodbye. One thing that I noticed (and my Grandpa asked me later if I noticed) is that he was in his wheelchair with a blanket over him because it was chilly. He intentionally chose the blanket that I made for him a few Christmases ago (and in the picture above) to use for that. That was very special to me. I even told Tim about it when I noticed. Love my Grandpa so much. 

After everything was over, we went back to Grandpa's house for food and fellowship. We ate and then I started looking at pictures in the drawers in Grandma's dining room. It was fun to find the old photos, relive memories and hear stories. It was such a neat way to remember her. My Aunt Brenda also brought out a box of Grandma's old scarves and we were able to select one or two to keep. I picked out a few and one in particular that I'm hoping to get framed and use in our dining room one day. Grandma was a collector of lots of things....she loved Beanie Babies, Barbies and Tom Clark Gnomes. Eli was supposed to have his Scout Pine Wood Derby today but he knew this was more important and missed it. Grandpa let him have their Scout pine wood derby gnome. So special. Mom also had each of us grandkids a Beanie Baby angel to remember Grandma. It was an emotional day but it was a beautiful celebration of her life and brought us all together. 

I worry about my Grandpa. It's going to be tough going forward. He's a strong man but it still concerns me. He will miss her I am sure and will have to adapt to a new normal. My prayer is that he can do that. 

Rest in Peace Grandma. I know you are in a better place and will always watch over me. I love you and miss you already. 

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Week Two: 1/12-1/18

Not as many pictures this week but a super fun busy week none-the-less. Our normal weeks have Karate (Cole) on Tues/Thur and swim lessons for both boys on Wednesday nights. Those are pretty much standard along with once-a-month Den and Pack meetings for Eli and Tim. We always pack lots of other fun stuff in too....oh yeah, and school! 

Wednesday night, the boys had a great swim practice. I realized I could totally be a swim mom. Hopefully one day I will be. =) After swim, State was playing basketball against UNC on ESPN. Super exciting! Coming off a win against Duke, we were very hopeful they'd pull off another one. As the great Mom that I am, I let Eli stay up late to watch the game with me. It was a nail biter but UNC pulled it out. During the game, they showed Vinny Del Negro in the crowds. I posted on Facebook that seeing him made my "middle school girl heart skip a beat". I had SUCH a crush on him when he played at NC State. I even made a stamped leather bracelet in shop class with him name on it. 
 Not kidding.....leather stamped bracelet with Vinny. <3
 Thursday night haircuts, Cole requested a "Cole-hawk". Tried to deliver...happy customer even though it's a short hawk. It's a start!!
 Packing Thursday night for the Trail Half Marathon. My Facebook post said it all..... "I am 100% positive this is not the smartest thing I've ever done but I'm too dang stubborn. Packing with the intention of still doing the trail half marathon this weekend. Dr is going to tape my ankle tomorrow for the race and hopefully that will carry me through. Fingers crossed!"

Friday afternoon, our Chiropractor taped my ankle up to help me make it through the race - he was not in favor of me running but, kinda like a parent, wanted to make sure I was the best prepared I could be if I was going to do it anyway. We headed out late Friday afternoon to my Mom's since we stayed the night there. Moe's for dinner on the way down and we made it an early bedtime. 

Saturday morning, up early! Tim and I headed out to the Charlotte Whitewater Center for the races. He did the 4 mile trail run and I did the 13.1 half-marathon. My cousin Allison also ran the half. She did AWESOME!! I think her finishing time was better than my road half marathons back in my real running days. It was a chilly morning to start but was nice once you got in the woods. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until I came across one aid station that told me I was only at the 6 mile mark. I did not believe them. I think I was coming up on 2 hours and I could have sworn that I was moving faster than that. Yikes!! I had been running / walking with another person and then found out he was only doing the 9 miler. Had to leave him and get on with it! I continued along my way - never saw Tim but I think he had a good race. He did his 4 miles in 51:24, finishing 16th in his age group and 283/563 (almost top half!) of all finishers. Somewhere during my race, can't remember where, my fear of twisting my ankle again on the muddy muddy course kinda came to reality. But I didn't actually sprain my ankle, I lost my footing on a downhill and slid. Unfortunately my left foot went under me and aggravated the tendon at the back of my ankle. Joy...why couldn't it be the other foot?! I kept moving, slow and steady. There were still people behind me. I was very happy when I came out of the woods and my sweet cousin Allison was there waiting and ran the last little hill with me. I was happy to be done, proud of finishing. A lot of obstacles that day (and in the previous week or so) for me but I finished. =) Unfortunately, they ran out of finisher medals so they said they would try to order me one. We DID however get awesome sweatshirts as part of our race swag. On our way home, we got an email that race results were posted. It was then that I found out that I was the LAST official finisher. I guess the others quit at some point or bailed to a shorter distance. My goal was 3 hours (I thought that was doable) but I ended up at 3:49:17 (avg 17:38/mile) and 258th place. There were 25 people who either didn't start or didn't finish. As the boys know, Dead Last is better than DNF (did not finish) which is better than DNS (did not start). I love trail running and really miss it. I made the lottery for the Uwharrie 20 miler in a few weeks but that is a much harder trail and after running scared today, I think I'm going to have to pull out of the race. (insert tears and sad face here) I know it's for the best but I hate to NOT do something I committed to. Anyway.....the race was fun and Tim & I both finished our respective runs! 
 Pre-race. Me & My Man. 

While Tim & I were at the race, the boys had a fun day with Grandma & Grandpa C at the farm. Cousin Connor came over to play and they had a ball. It is so fun watching all the little boys together. And apparently, in all this, Billy & Niki bought a new Jeep! Four door vehicle....hello being a grown up and having a family vehicle. =) 

Love this picture!!

We got home at a decent time last night and today was a semi-calm, normal day. We went to church this morning and then Eli went to his buddy Zach's house to play and watch the football game. Cole and I played Legos and then we were all back together before bedtime. 

Whew....I'm tired just thinking about our week! On to the next one...School and work, bright and early Monday morning. 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Week One Plus: 1/2-1/11

Calling this "Week One Plus" since it's really New Year's through the first full week of 2015. We enjoyed our New Year's Holiday and some down time at home. The boys watched / played a lot of football New Year's Weekend. We watched the Panthers game Sunday and Eli loves to give me the play-by-play, tell me who the players are and with Cole, provide live action slow-mo replays in the living room. Love my football-loving boys!!
 Headed to school Monday in their Panthers gear. 

Tuesday I was part of a presentation team for work. It went great and we're excited about getting some new work. It was probably one of the best, if not THE best, presentation I've been a part of. Fun stuff!! Then Tuesday night, Cole had karate - ninja boy. =) 

 It has been really cold here so I thought I'd get a run in Wednesday night when it was 30 degrees instead of the next morning at 13 degrees. Well.....it didn't go well. I lost a fight with a pine cone. I didn't see it and when my left foot hit it, I went down.....hard....very hard. So hard that a car stopped and asked me if I needed a ride home. Yep, kinda embarrassing but even more just painful. I walked the mile or so home thinking it would help. It did. Then I went to the grocery store...kept moving. But when I woke up Thursday morning. Oh my. Very painful, swollen and bruised. Not looking good for the trail half-marathon I have in 10 days. But I went into some serious injury therapy with ice and keeping it elevated in hopes of keeping my 2015 running goals alive. 
Pre-Run selfie. 

Friday I managed a shopping trip to Target - alone!! I called it my "Mom Mini-Vacation at the Target Resort." It's a tight race between them and Harris Teeter for who gets the most of our money. =) 

Saturday was a busy day. Eli went to his buddy Fisher's birthday party at The Launching Pad, the Panthers lost and we had family movie night. We watched 'Mr. Peabody and Sherman' - the new version - and it was very good. I was surprised at how many of the historical references Eli got. We'll definitely be watching it again and I'm SURE I will hear "Smell my Victory" over and over. 

 Trampoline hoops practice
 Eli and Fisher - silly boys. They were in Kindergarten together and still see each other / play at school.

Sunday after church, we went on a journey to find me a brace to wear on my ankle - still hoping to salvage next week's race. I had asked my friend Cary about what to get and I ended up finding what I called a corset and wrap brace - it laces up and then has a velcro wrap piece. It's very stable and my ankle feels "safe" in it. This afternoon Eli & I watched the State / Duke basketball game. It was AWESOME!! State beat Duke and it was fun to watch it with him and cheer. Eli kept running to the garage to tell Tim the score. I also talked with him about going to the State/Duke game when I was in college and sitting on the front row behind the Duke bench. He loved hearing that you get to go free as a student - perks! 
My crazy ankle brace

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Happy 2015!!

As is our tradition, we have to either hike or bike on New Year's Day. This year we biked around the neighborhood and to the Lake to feed the ducks. It was kinda chilly outside but the boys loved it. Got to start off our year right!! 
Pre-ride Selfie
 Of course, Cole's smiling......Daddy's working, Cole's chilling

 That face....those dimples....oh my heart!

 My cuties in their new UnderArmour sweatshirts
Here little ducky....

 My crew

 Wheeeeeee
Lucky to start another year with my Man. Such a great partner!